My Obituary

This was an exercise I did with a very cool book I’m reading right now…

Life, being a constant struggle, is full of choices that either please God or please man. Rarely do those choices accomplish both. This is how I have tried to live, at least recently.

When I was young, it was all about pleasing  myself. How can I have a good time, have the things that I want and never have to suffer? This was after I had been raised going to church, learning about salvation and being filled with the Spirit. I chose to starve my faith and feed my flesh.

Something happened along the journey of my life. It was having a family. I recognized how my behavior and actions influenced those people closest to me and I did not like what I saw. That was when I began studying and learning. Learning that my priorities were mixed up, and I was trying to please my family so much that no one was pleased at all. Especially me.

I learned, slowly, how to lean on God and watch Him work miracles in my life. His divine provision to make our professional career successful was amazing. No, it didn’t happen overnight, but it happened. During this time, I resolved to stand by my husband through all circumstances, as difficult as they might become, as long as he would have me. 1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

This has been my top priority, to live the life that God has asked me to. To do everything with integrity, honor and steadfastness. All for God’s glory. To encourage everyone around me and not be critical or to tear them down. This has been the most difficult challenge and I can only hope that I achieved this goal more times than I failed. I do know that I have failed many many times and I have begged forgiveness. It’s God’s forgiveness that pushed me to continue getting up each day and trying again. To make each day the goal to love others just as much as God loves me.

Now, having said all of that, I realize that almost everything I did “for God”, I had an ulterior motive. When I volunteered at the church, it was for people to like me. When I gave tithes, it was for God to bless me. Most everything I did was in order to get something back, to not have to “sacrifice”.

What’s happened? I have few friends. (And it doesn’t bother me at all, not anymore) I was already blessed, no matter what I did (I only realize that now). God always provided for me in abundance. I now give because He gave to me first and I now aim to give until it hurts.

Thankfully, I’m not really dead yet. But now I have a clear goal on how I can honor God every day before I die.

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