Thick-headed. That’s what I am. Really. I’ve been teaching myself this concept for the past year, and I still don’t get it. Okay. So, I really haven’t been teaching myself. It’s not that simple. It’s really that God has been showing me over and over again what He wants me to learn, and for some reason it’s not sticking.
First of all, I don’t want to be a seed that is sown in shallow ground. But that’s what it sounds like I am. I get the message about giving God my whole heart, really joyful about it, ready to share it with the world and then a week later, I have shifted my focus ever so slightly on what a good job I have done and patting myself on the back. What was that message again? My heart? Oh yeah, my heart belongs to God, not to me.
So, another day of revelation comes and I am all excited about it again until I get to work the next day and a round of problems pop up jumbling up my emotions and my mouth starts running about how the world is deteriorating so fast and people have no integrity anymore. Sorry? Don’t judge? Oh yeah, Jesus, You did say that. I need to be looking at myself first and straightening out my own sinfulness. What? I can’t straighten out my own sinfulness? Oh yeah, Jesus, You did say “Come unto Me, and I will give you My rest.” So, I must surrender everything, my heart, my thoughts, my emotions, my soul, my will, everything that is important to me, that I have been deceived to believe that I can control must be surrendered to You.
Yet another day of profound revelation has me smiling and crying tears of joy until I am faced with other people around me constantly complaining about everything going on around them. I find myself mumbling under my breath about how they need to shut up because they don’t have half the problems of other people in this world. What was that? “In everything give thanks unto God”? That’s right. I should have been muttering that under my breath to help me overcome the lure of wanting to complain about everyone complaining.
I simply can’t be the good influence I want to be on anyone else until I am the good influence on myself. Practice what you preach. Oh God, I have so far to go. Thank You for the reminder of Your overwhelming love for me and the rest of humanity with the celebration of Your Son, Jesus Christ, rising from the dead and overcoming every single sin and evil influence for us, so that all we have to do is trust in You. It sounds simple, and really it is, but we make it much harder than that because we think we have to be in control. If I surrender control, I will achieve freedom. Okay….let’s start this day.