Life’s Not Perfect

I try not to talk too much about the intricate details of my life because first, they’re boring, and second, for the most part, it just isn’t necessary. Yes, there are some details that need to be explained for better understanding but that is rare. So, why am I discussing this now?

There are many people who live very hard lives. I’ve seen it personally and I’ve seen it through the media. At one point in my life, I could have been one of the countless people who endured severe hardships. Actually, at a very young age, I did endure quite a bit, but compared to what some children are dealing with today, I had it easy.

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but as a young adult I wanted to party….a lot. I went to school, but didn’t really care about how I did. I breezed through most classes because they tapped into my creative side and I didn’t really have to work to pass. I worked a job that I enjoyed, mainly because it gave me opportunity to meet and socialize with many different people. In my heart, I knew I was missing something and hoped I would find it among the many people I “partied” with.

Then I met my husband. He was nothing spectacular physically, but there was something about him that drew me in. He was smart, had gorgeous hair (as shallow as I was, that was probably the thing) and looked at me like I was special. It gave me incentive to party less and to concentrate more on my studies (to impress him, of course). He had a drive and motivation that influenced me more than I realized.

When I became pregnant with our first child, I realized my intense need for Guidance. I did okay changing little by little for my husband, but I knew I needed a total overhaul for my child. I went to the attic in my mind and found my old connection with Jesus, blew off the dust and found that the connection was still there, just old and rusty. I had to work on it.

I started slowly, really just focusing on singing some of the old worship songs I knew from childhood. They moved me and I felt more peaceful right away. Especially when I would hold my daughter and she would stop crying long enough to hear me sing. I learned how to pray again. This was the period of time when I had to stop school, keep working and learn how to take care of a baby, all while my husband finished school, keep working and try to babysit while he studied. Every penny we made went right back out the door and so we were on the tightest of budgets, but somehow we made it through.

Now, 22 years later, I am still working on my relationship with Jesus but I can look back and see through all the hard times that Jesus never left me, even when that connection was still locked up in the attic. He protected me when I was out partying with the wrong crowd. He led me to the man whom I would marry, even though he looked nothing like the kind of guy I usually dated. He helped me maneuver my way through raising two children (not perfectly) and being able to watch Jesus protect them too. I continue to pray, not just for my life, but for every person in my life.

What I discovered is that my mother prayed a lot for her kids and Jesus has come through. She saw me going down the wrong road and trusted God to guide me back. It’s not easy watching others in your life that you love choose the a different direction than God, but you can’t change them, only God can. I would say I’m lucky, but luck isn’t the right word. I am most definitely blessed, though. Life’s not perfect but I have learned that I can be happy with what I have, no matter what. God provides when I believe (and even when I don’t think about it) and that’s because of someone else’s prayers for me.

So, now I am learning to focus on praying for those who are in dire need. The starving children in Syria, for instance. God can provide for them even when it seems impossible. The convicted felons in jails across the world; God can change them. The corrupt leaders of our countries; God can restore integrity to them. We must pray constantly for these things and more to initiate the change we need in this world.

No, life’s not perfect, but God is and He can provide what we need when we stand together and pray.


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