God Provides

The last month has been a challenge for me spiritually. I have experienced ups and downs and I have wondered where am I supposed to go in all of this? First, I believe I have received a Word that explaining the simplicity of God’s will for our health must be done, but I have trouble finding the right words and avenues to take. I continuously have the feeling that everything is connected and desperately want to tell the world, but again, the right words seem to be at the tip of my fingertips but not coming forth. Second, I believe my family’s purpose is to work together to spread that word, through the gifts God has given us all. My husband is a brilliant researcher and teacher, so I believe he is to go and talk to everyone about what he’s discovering. My daughter is an excellent horse rider and potential trainer, so I believe she is to work with horses and use what she is learning to spread how they have changed her life. She lacked confidence and felt unloved but she is learning that she can achieve her goals with the right mindset and know that when people may not show her love, God will always love her and be with her. My son is a wonderful tennis player and has goals revolving around that. He is learning to overcome his weaknesses through the strength of Christ, and while it’s a slow process, he is growing and learning to be an example to everyone around him reflecting Christ’s light through his triumphs and losses.
That leaves me. All this time, I felt it is my responsibility to be the stable supporter for all three of them. I think that is still my purpose, but I know in order to do that, I have to have the right encouraging message for each one in every situation. Sometimes, I believe that’s an overwhelming weight because I struggle with doubts that I may be saying or doing the wrong things. I know I must trust in God to always give me the right things to say, and I do, but sometimes even while I am speaking, I have a thought that I’m being too harsh or forward.
We are all created with a purpose. God intentionally created me to fulfill a specific purpose for Him. That is what must sustain me, I know. My trouble seems to be in finding the time to spend every day reinforcing God’s word in my spirit. Every morning I repeat my encouraging verses to start my day. I work in my Bible study and try to concentrate on what message I need to learn. While I am doing this, though, I have the day ahead of me in my mind trying to take over. What I need to do, what I haven’t been doing that must be changed and making sure that I am there when my husband needs me in the morning or there when my children need me in the afternoons or weekends. How can I shut off the world and focus on Him, when all these things keep looming in my head?
I haven’t answered that question yet, but I am fighting to stay the course. I don’t leave my house in the morning unarmed. I take praise with me and spout it off throughout every day because there is nothing I can do without Him. When all I have is nagging questions or doubts in my mind, I fight back with praise because I am still determined to be content with all that I have. God provides for me and I lack nothing. I’m not talking about physical things, but spiritual confidence. What I mean is, I am already content with everything materialistically mainly because I don’t want anything except to give to those who need (Matthew 6:2). But, my spirit is thirsty for His provision every day, so I make that my confession every day. God provides for me and I lack nothing (Matthew 6:25-34) because in Him, I have His strength, His mercy, His grace and praise God, His forgiveness.


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